Frustrated

I did not make it to the gym this morning. As I mentioned on my last post my husband had to be out of the house early to go out of town for the day for work. Because that leaves me to get myself and my daughter up and ready, I decided to not go and give myself more time to do everything that needed to get done in the morning. I was bummed but it's OK. Apparently I was tired because I didn't even hear him get up and get ready, I was out cold. I could attempt to go tonight but he's not sure when he'll be home tonight so that, once again, leaves me to handle everything at home, make sure dogs are fed, make sure Sophie is fed, dishes, bed, bath. Doesn't leave me much time to get done what I need to get done. Just the way it is sometimes.

I could try and do some weights or P90X after Sophie goes to bed but to be honest at 9:00 at night I am exhausted and need to get to sleep so I can attempt to make it to the gym the next morning.

This has been a difficult week for me because I'm suffering from major PMS (sorry but I am). Ever since I had Sophie and stopped breastfeeding my PMS has been crazy. At first my hormones were all over the place and I felt crazy to the point my husband wanted me to get medicine. I am against self medicating so I told him to suck it up and help me through it. Really I was just a first time mom, sleep deprived and working full time and just a tad bit stressed. Unfortunately when it's PMS week it's all intensified.

Over the year I feel my emotions have somewhat stabilized but the physical symptoms are still so very extreme. I bloat. Not just a little water retention but like an extra 4-5 pounds! My pants are a little tighter and I feel like I have a muffin top. Sorry but I do. If I were to pudge out my stomach right now I would look 3 months pregnant. Seriously. It's very frustrating. My rings are a little tighter and it pisses me off to see the scale fluctuate so much during this time. My skin breaks out and I look and feel disgusting. I tried on pants the other day at the store and they felt tight and I almost cried. I refuse to be on birth control at this point in my life.

I go through this every month you'd think I'd be used to it by now. The thing is, I've gained a few pounds over the course of the year. Sure it could be muscle but I looked and felt better last year before I started doing more distance. Maybe because last year I was still having fun with running and this year it became a little more serious. Not sure but I feel an added pressure when I see the scale starting to go up. I feel like all this hard work is backfiring on me.

I eat fairly well. I try to make good decisions on what I eat now a days. We cook more, only ordering out on Friday's because, let's face it, who wants to cook on a Friday night after a long week at work? Not me!! Plus I have more time on the weekends to make a nice meal for my family. I still eat things that I shouldn't be. I love french fries, I love ice cream - any sweets really, I love a good burger, I love chips. Really anything that's bad. However I make good decisions more than I make bad ones. I am currently trying to rid our pantry of a lot of processed foods. I read labels more and watch the fat content and ingredients. I recently discovered that my beloved Jiff Reduced Fat peanut butter has zinc oxide listed as an ingredient. Zinc oxide is what's in diaper rash cream. That's just gross. So now I need to find an alternative to my Jiff.

I know what I need to do, I just don't (once again) have all the extra time in the world to do it, like various training exercises (track runs, temp runs, speed work, hills), I try to mix up my treadmill workouts but I can't quite make it to the high school track at 4:30 a.m. or during the week when the students are using it. I don't have time to make "from scratch" meals. I don't shop at Whole Foods or Trader Joe's because I don't live near one and the Trader Joe's that opened up in Mt. Pleasant is so crowded on the weekends (I'm letting all the hype die down before I go).

Today I read a blog and the girl said that running did nothing for her body but when she started mixing in kickboxing, yoga, and other various exercises her body started changing and the weight melted off. I think that's where I'm at right now. Maybe I run too much and my body is too used to it. I need more cross training. I will work on that.

I will also work on eating better. I have made great improvements over the last year but I need to do more. My daughter is turning into a picky eater and I hate that. Then again she's only two and one week she loves green beans, they next week she hates them. Eating better will help me lose this stubborn chub that I can't seem to get rid of.

Sorry for my brain dump, I blame the hormones :) Next week will be better.

October is a Busy Month

October is going to be a busy month. Hell, the rest of the year is going to be busy. Since I've had a child and become  a mom, I feel like time passes me by. I have no time to get things done anymore yet my "to-do" list and project list keeps growing and growing.....

There's so much I want to do but finding the time to get it all done is becoming very overwhelming. I've dedicated myself to this marathon training so if things get pushed back till after the race in January so be it.

October:
8th - This coming Saturday my husband is fishing in a small local tournament so he'll be gone all day Saturday. My mother in law will be watching Sophie while I do my 14 miles. I'll be doing this distance alone, no hubby to ride along beside me.
Sunday 9th - Was invited to a friend's beach house for the day to bring Sophie to play with various other children that will be there. Now that I have to fly out to California at 6 am on Monday I'm going to have to cancel because now I will have to run the errands I cannot do on Saturday and pack, get groceries for Ricky and Sophie so they can eat while I'm gone, spend time with my daughter, and try to get my house cleaned up.

10th - 12th I'll be in SoCal for work. I'm flying into John Wayne Airport and staying somewhere in that area but riding with my sales rep on customer visits those 2 days. I know that one day we will be in San Diego. Exciting, my sister was born in San Diego (when my dad was in the Navy) so she's a tad jealous that I get to go there. I get back really really late Wed. night, at like 11:30 pm which is going to stink because I'll be so jet lagged.

15th - 16th I need to attempt to get Sophie's Halloween costume since I won't really have time to do it this coming weekend unless I can try and squeeze it in however I have NO idea what she should be. Would love to make her a costume but that's just not going to happen. I have 15 miles on Saturday. I wanted to invite friends over for dinner Saturday night and we might still do that but honestly after being away for a few days I don't think I'll have the time to clean and go grocery shopping. When I cook for people I like to go all out.

22nd - 23rd  - My parents are driving down that Friday to stay with Sophie for the weekend while Ricky and I drive to Myrtle Beach, SC for the Myrtle Beach Mini Marathon on Sunday the 23rd.
I'm super excited about this race because the last few miles you get to run along the beach and the biggest bummer of Kiawah Island Half Marathon - no beach just big beautiful houses. After the race we'll drive home and there's the weekend.

Image from http://www.runmyrtlebeach.com

29th - 31st - I'm sure this is the weekend that Ricky will be on call this weekend which isn't a big huge deal only the fact that I have to run 17 miles and he'll have to go into the office for a few hours. Getting ready for Halloween as well, hopefully the house will be decorated by then and I can carve pumpkins on Sunday.

Of course any day during the week I'll be working.

I would love to be crafty for Halloween, I have so many ideas that I want to do to decorate the house. I love fall and fall decorating so we'll see just how much I am able to get done.

I also have to start getting things ready for Sophie's big girl room. Would like to have her transitioned over after my marathon in January and get her old nursery ready for new baby nursery (hopefully). I bought a headboard from craigslist and I'm to paint it white along with the bookcase I also found on craigslist. We have a dresser that's already white but I'm going to paint the drawers a different color and change out the knobs. Not to mention re-painting her future room. This is all very ambitious but I know I can get it done. Whether I can keep from getting stressed out remains to be seen.

On top of all that, I have a ton of little projects that are sitting in our garage waiting to be sanded and spray painted. I was not able to complete over the summer because it was just too hot and humid and the paint does not dry well.

I want to re-paint our mater bathroom because it needs it but this will be a "rainy day" project. Oh and not to mention our living room and kitchen - maybe this will be a day off from work project. My husband loves me :) Actually I've painted just about every room myself so I don't need his help. I'm the better painter anyway.

So yeah, I bring it upon myself and used to be very obsessive about things but since I've had a kid I've learned that if it all doesn't get done at the time I want it to get done....it's ok!

So far November is semi busy. We're traveling to Charlotte, NC twice this month, once for my 2nd half marathon on Nov. 12th, the Thunder Road Marathon and then for Thanksgiving.

I won't even get started on Christmas :) It's all good, bring it on!!